Let me start by saying this:
I don’t celebrate Halloween because of my personal faith and what the holiday represents to me spiritually in my adulthood. When I was a child I loved the fun around the holiday. In fact my child loves the fun around it too! What child doesn’t, right? Anyhow…..
That’s me.
I’m not sitting around judging children for putting on costumes, eating candy, laughing, and having fun. If it’s candy and costumes for your family, then do you. If it’s harvest day or Halloween, do you!
I’m responsible for my convictions, not yours. That’s my business!
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way…
Y’all know I wasn’t going to let all these vampires, zombies, ghosts, skeletons, graveyards, and mythical creatures walk past me without finding a life lesson somewhere. 😂
Because while everybody is talking about the walking dead and the new term “unalived”…
Have you ever noticed how some people keep trying to resurrect things that should have stayed buried?
Chile.
Let’s talk about it.
🪦 Some People Will Bury You, Dig You Up, and Bury You AGAIN
Have you ever had somebody decide who you are based on an old version of you?
They’ll bring up something that happened YEARS ago.
Something you’ve apologized for and or agreed to disagree on.
Something you’ve grown from.
Something everybody supposedly moved past.
Something that has already been discussed, dissected, prayed over, forgiven, and BURIED.
Then one day…
Here they come with a shovel.
⛏️ Dig. Dig. Dig.
“Remember when you…”
and do……
WHY ARE WE BACK AT THIS GRAVESITE?! 😂
We buried this!
Sometimes people continually resurrect your mistakes because dealing with your past is easier than dealing with their present behavior.
And sometimes people need you permanently cast as the villain because your growth would require them to reconsider the story they’ve been telling themselves.
That’s where scapegoating comes in. OOps! I introduced a new character!
🐐 Don’t Become Somebody’s Scapegoat
A scapegoat becomes the convenient place where everybody dumps responsibility.
Something goes wrong?
Your fault.
They’re unhappy?
Your fault.
They behaved badly?
Somehow…
Still your fault.
Their relationships aren’t working?
Guess who gets discussed?
YOU.
They misunderstood something?
You should have explained it differently.
They crossed your boundary?
Your boundary was unreasonable.
They hurt you?
Well, apparently you made them do it.
WAIT.
WHAT?! 😂 That’s crazy!
Absolutely not.
At some point, you have to refuse the position.
I respectfully decline the role of Scapegoat in your production. Please recast the position immediately. 😂
Because accountability works BOTH ways.
You can acknowledge where you were wrong WITHOUT accepting responsibility for something that isn’t yours.
That’s maturity.
I can say:
“I shouldn’t have said that.”
AND ALSO:
“But that doesn’t excuse what you did.”
Both things can be true.
Accountability does not require self-abandonment.
🧛🏾♀️ Watch Out for Emotional Vampires
Now let’s talk about vampires.
Because BABY…
Some people don’t need fangs.
You’ll know them by how you feel after interacting with them.
You walked into the conversation happy.
Thirty minutes later you’re mentally exhausted, second-guessing yourself, replaying everything you said, wondering whether you did something wrong and suddenly needing a nap.
WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!
An emotional vampire doesn’t necessarily suck blood.
They drain:
Your energy.
Your confidence.
Your attention.
Your time.
Your joy.
Your peace.
Your LIGHT.
And here’s the dangerous part.
If you stay around that energy long enough…
The vampire can turn YOU into a zombie.
🧟♀️ Uh, Don’t Become the Zombie
You know what a zombie does?
Walks around…
but isn’t really LIVING.
And unfortunately, some people are emotionally walking around exactly like that.
Going to work.
Paying bills.
Scrolling.
Coming home.
Sleeping.
Getting up.
Doing it again.
But that LIGHT that used to be inside them?
Dimmed.
Because they spent so much time surviving other people’s chaos that they forgot they were supposed to be living their own life.
No.
COME BACK TO LIFE. (There is POWER in the resurrection! You will get that later!)
You were not created to become somebody else’s emotional corpse.
And please don’t spend your whole life allowing somebody to continually tell you who you are.
People will project their hurt onto you and then hand you the script.
And if you aren’t careful…
You’ll start reading your lines.
Nope.
Hand that script BACK.
🪞 Plot Twist: Check Yourself for Fangs
Now y’all know I’m not going to write this whole article talking about what everybody ELSE is doing.
Because that’s too easy.
So let’s get uncomfortable. I’m the first to admit that I admire my fangs. But these days I rarely draw blood….Now, that’s growth! I’m checking myself too, but I won’t be buried while doing so.
Are YOU the vampire?
Whew.
Do people constantly have to manage your emotions?
Do you make every disagreement about you?
Do you continually resurrect people’s old mistakes?
Do you need somebody else to be wrong so you can remain right?
Do you punish people emotionally when they establish boundaries?
Do you suck the joy out of every room because you’re committed to your misery?
Do you continuously tell the same story where somehow, miraculously…
YOU ARE NEVER WRONG? (I can hear and see some of you!)
Y’all know I’m right 99.99% of the time, haha!😂 I don’t bother anyone!
Soooo…
Check your teeth.
You might have fangs.
Because self-awareness requires us to occasionally stop asking:
“Why does everybody keep doing this to me?”
And start asking:
“Is there anything I’M repeatedly bringing into these situations?”
That’s growth.
And growth ain’t always cute.
🦄 So…Are You a Vampire, Zombie, or Unicorn?
Now let’s get to my favorite one.
THE UNICORN.
Yes, I know unicorns are mythical.
Stay with the metaphor. 😂
The unicorn isn’t draining anybody.
The unicorn isn’t wandering around lifeless.
The unicorn doesn’t need somebody else’s darkness to make its light look brighter.
The unicorn knows that being different is part of the assignment.
Some people aren’t going to understand you.
Okay.
Some won’t like you.
Okay.
Some will misinterpret you.
Okay.
Some people will create an entire version of you in their head and then get mad when the REAL you refuses to become that character.
STILL OKAY.
Stop auditioning for the role they’ve already written for you.
Be different.
Be colorful.
Be joyful.
Be faithful.
Be accountable.
Be creative.
Be weird if necessary.
Most importantly…
KEEP YOUR LIGHT. I AM ALIVE!
⚰️ Let Dead Things Stay Dead
This may be the biggest lesson of all.
Everything doesn’t need resurrection.
Some relationships ended.
Some friendships ended.
Some seasons ended.
Some versions of YOU ended.
Some arguments ended.
Some situations were resolved.
LET THEM BE DEAD.
Stop walking back into emotional graveyards trying to restart things God, growth, wisdom, time, or circumstances helped you release.
There are some graves that don’t deserve flowers.
They deserve distance.
And if somebody keeps digging up the old version of you?
Let them.
They can have it.
Because you’re not living there anymore.
👻 Stop Letting Ghosts Run Your Present
Some people are being haunted by things that aren’t even happening anymore.
The person is gone.
The situation ended.
The job changed.
The friendship dissolved.
The mistake happened years ago.
Yet emotionally…
You’re still standing at the scene.
That’s how yesterday steals tomorrow.
At some point you have to declare:
I’m not allowing an old ghost to keep haunting a new house.
I’m living HERE now.
🎃 So What’s the Bottom Line? Pumpkin Head!
Halloween has given me the perfect metaphor for something I’ve watched in real life.
People can behave like vampires.
People can become emotional zombies.
People can bury others, resurrect old issues, and attempt to bury them again.
People can spend years haunted by ghosts from situations that have been over.
And yes…
Sometimes WE ARE THE PROBLEM.
That’s why self-examination is important.
So ask yourself:
🧛🏾♀️ Am I the Vampire?
Am I constantly taking energy without replenishing anything?
🧟♀️ Am I the Zombie?
Have I allowed life’s circumstances or somebody else’s dysfunction to drain so much out of me that I’m existing instead of living?
🐐 Am I the Scapegoat?
Have I accepted responsibility for other people’s choices just to keep the peace?
👻 Am I the Ghost?
Am I allowing my past to keep showing up in places where my future is trying to live?
🦄 Or am I the Unicorn?
Still colorful.
Still different.
Still believing.
Still creating.
Still laughing.
Still loving.
Still growing.
Still accountable.
Still connected to God.
And STILL shining.
You know what the funny thing is? I’ve been all of them!
Listen.
People can dig.
People can talk.
People can misunderstand.
People can project.
People can resurrect the version of you they prefer to remember.
LET THEM.
You don’t have to climb back into the grave just because somebody dug it up.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
And whatever you do, don’t let somebody else’s darkness convince you to turn down your light.
Tell Dracula:
Respectfully, this neck is CLOSED for business. 😂🧛🏾♀️
I’m choosing life.
I’m choosing peace.
I’m choosing growth.
I’m choosing accountability.
I’m choosing LIGHT.
And if I have to choose between being a vampire, zombie, or unicorn?
Please…
🦄 HAND ME MY HORN.
Love y’all. ❤️
Joy Junkie!
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